⚠️ Trigger warning ⚠️ It’s my 40th birthday tomorrow 🎉
I’ve been reflecting a lot on my life so far, in all honestly, I didn’t think I’d make it to 40.
It’s no secret that my childhood was horrific. I was frequently r*p*d and s*xually ab*sed by those that were meant to love me and care for me. The psychological ab*se throughout my childhood, teens and my 20’s, left me with so many scars that are rarely seen by others.
Because of this ab*se, I spent my teens and my 20’s battling depression, and suffering frequently with panic attacks, flashbacks and crippling anxiety. Many times I used alcohol to numb out from the horrors that I’d been subjected to (and to try to keep myself alive). I’ve lost count of the number of times that I was su*cidal.
In my late 20’s I found yoga and reiki, and I began the long and tough journey of piecing the many broken pieces of myself together.
My 30’s have been hard (to say the least). At 31 I was able to speak out about the ab*se. Speaking out was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. Most of our biological family members attempted to silence me and did their best to protect the perpetrators of the ab*se, and in the years that followed our brother committed su*cide at the age of 39.
I am grateful that throughout these horrendous years in my 30’s, Jane, Victor & my wonderful friend Anita stood by me wholeheartedly. They supported me and cared for me everyday while I reported these cr*mes to the pol*ce. My beautiful friend Steph lovingly guided me through the this challenging process 💛 Thank you all for supporting me through some of the worst years of my life 💛
I am sharing this snapshot of my life with you because I really didn’t think that I would make it to 40. I am so proud to have made it to this age!!
I am one of many survivors of childhood s*xual ab*se and r*pe. To the many other survivors out there, we deserve to live and to experience fulfilling and joyful lives! As horrifying as it has all been, I am so glad that I didn’t give up on life!!
I am sending love and strength to all survivors 💛 Stay close to anything that makes you glad you are alive ✨🦋 Love Sarah Xx
